What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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