I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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