if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My vagina is officially offended.
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