I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
