sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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