I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
