His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
