dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I won the penis lottery.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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