True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
