We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
