I need help removing her.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
