wanna go halves on a baby?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Green mimosas i think yes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
