Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
