he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
