Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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