alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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