Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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