I have demons in me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
