my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
