Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
