Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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