Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
