So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
