Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
