Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
