It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize