There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
