Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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