can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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