Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
