Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
