i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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