I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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