Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
