last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
