We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
