Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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