I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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