kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
