nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
17 year olds will be the death of me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
