I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
