And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just had sex on a roof
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
