her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
