Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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