I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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