so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
