please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
As shirtless as possible
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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