quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
