my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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