Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
