its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
